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Members Forums => Odds & Ends => Topic started by: Jaynestown on December 24, 2010, 02:26:23 PM

Title: Santa - A logical explanation
Post by: Jaynestown on December 24, 2010, 02:26:23 PM
It's just occurred to me, Santa isn't a fat man who can fit down chimeys, rides a sleigh pulled by reindeer and delivers presents to millions of children in just one night... he's a time traveller from the future (from a race of people who live for thousands of years) with a "sleigh shaped" spaceship (with a cloaking shield to avoid detection) pulled by robots (in the shape of reindeers) with vertical jet engines attached (to allow ease of descent on to rooftops) who actually spends the whole of next year distributing presents by time travelling back each day to the previous December 25th to allow him the time to deliver all the presents (which also explains his size since he is eating mince pies 365 days a year and doesn't have time to work out), and who uses a transporter to "beam" in to each person's house (allowing entry to even those houses without chimneys). His elves work on the mothership in orbit around the moon all year round working on manufacturing the toys (using advanced production techniques) and having a "Thuinderbird 5-esque" monitoring system to find out what kids actually want for Christmas.

The only thing I can't figure out is what his motive is? Any suggestions?
Title: Re: Santa - A logical explanation
Post by: dfusioness on December 24, 2010, 02:43:56 PM
you have way too much time on your hands  ;)
Title: Re: Santa - A logical explanation
Post by: Lukehi on December 24, 2010, 02:48:21 PM
Quote from: Jaynestown on December 24, 2010, 02:26:23 PM
The only thing I can't figure out is what his motive is? Any suggestions?

Maybe since he's from the future he knows that we need to break free of the shackles of the Christian faith and embrace increasingly more materialistic ways in order to save the human race?


Another unexplained thing is, how does he know who's naughty and who's nice?
Title: Re: Santa - A logical explanation
Post by: Jurassic Parky on December 24, 2010, 03:20:13 PM
He's the doctor.
Title: Re: Santa - A logical explanation
Post by: sambo on December 24, 2010, 03:38:47 PM
Quote from: Lukehi on December 24, 2010, 02:48:21 PM
Another unexplained thing is, how does he know who's naughty and who's nice?

He reads these forums. :P
Title: Re: Santa - A logical explanation
Post by: Failed on December 24, 2010, 04:07:41 PM
Santa touches you in your sleep and feels guilty afterwards, so he leaves a present so you don't feel bad.

The more presents you get, the more he's molested you!



True Story
Title: Re: Santa - A logical explanation
Post by: Lukehi on December 24, 2010, 04:11:36 PM
Quote from: Failed on December 24, 2010, 04:07:41 PM
Your Dad touches you in your sleep and feels guilty afterwards, so he leaves a present so you don't feel bad.

The more presents you get, the more he's molested you!



True Story
Title: Re: Santa - A logical explanation
Post by: Jaynestown on December 24, 2010, 10:04:43 PM
Quote from: fizz on December 24, 2010, 02:43:56 PM
you have way too much time on your hands  ;)

I was bored at work, I explained all this to my colleagues, they thought I was nuts!
Title: Re: Santa - A logical explanation
Post by: nCogNeato on December 29, 2010, 05:43:42 PM
I had a similar theory for Jesus.

Perhaps they are connected, or in fact the same?
Title: Re: Santa - A logical explanation
Post by: Jaynestown on December 29, 2010, 08:47:10 PM
Quote from: nCogNeato on December 29, 2010, 05:43:42 PM
I had a similar theory for Jesus.

Perhaps they are connected, or in fact the same?


You may be on to something there Neato!
Title: Re: Santa - A logical explanation
Post by: nCogNeato on December 29, 2010, 09:09:58 PM
Quote from: Jaynestown on December 29, 2010, 08:47:10 PM
Quote from: nCogNeato on December 29, 2010, 05:43:42 PM
I had a similar theory for Jesus.

Perhaps they are connected, or in fact the same?


You may be on to something there Neato!

It definitely explains a lot.
Title: Re: Santa - A logical explanation
Post by: zerosum on March 24, 2011, 05:05:35 AM
Either way, he's a punk: