Santa - A logical explanation

[Jaynestown]

It's just occurred to me, Santa isn't a fat man who can fit down chimeys, rides a sleigh pulled by reindeer and delivers presents to millions of children in just one night... he's a time traveller from the future (from a race of people who live for thousands of years) with a "sleigh shaped" spaceship (with a cloaking shield to avoid detection) pulled by robots (in the shape of reindeers) with vertical jet engines attached (to allow ease of descent on to rooftops) who actually spends the whole of next year distributing presents by time travelling back each day to the previous December 25th to allow him the time to deliver all the presents (which also explains his size since he is eating mince pies 365 days a year and doesn't have time to work out), and who uses a transporter to "beam" in to each person's house (allowing entry to even those houses without chimneys). His elves work on the mothership in orbit around the moon all year round working on manufacturing the toys (using advanced production techniques) and having a "Thuinderbird 5-esque" monitoring system to find out what kids actually want for Christmas.

The only thing I can't figure out is what his motive is? Any suggestions?

[dfusioness]

you have way too much time on your hands 

[Lukehi]

The only thing I can't figure out is what his motive is? Any suggestions?

Maybe since he's from the future he knows that we need to break free of the shackles of the Christian faith and embrace increasingly more materialistic ways in order to save the human race?


Another unexplained thing is, how does he know who's naughty and who's nice?

[Jurassic Parky]

He's the doctor.

[sambo]

Another unexplained thing is, how does he know who's naughty and who's nice?

He reads these forums.

[Failed]

Santa touches you in your sleep and feels guilty afterwards, so he leaves a present so you don't feel bad.

The more presents you get, the more he's molested you!



True Story

[Lukehi]

Your Dad touches you in your sleep and feels guilty afterwards, so he leaves a present so you don't feel bad.

The more presents you get, the more he's molested you!



True Story

[Jaynestown]

you have way too much time on your hands 

I was bored at work, I explained all this to my colleagues, they thought I was nuts!

[nCogNeato]

I had a similar theory for Jesus.

Perhaps they are connected, or in fact the same?

[Jaynestown]

I had a similar theory for Jesus.

Perhaps they are connected, or in fact the same?

You may be on to something there Neato!

[nCogNeato]

I had a similar theory for Jesus.

Perhaps they are connected, or in fact the same?

You may be on to something there Neato!

It definitely explains a lot.

[zerosum]

Either way, he's a punk: