Shakezy's (mis)Adventures in Online Dating

[Windedprism]

Maybe they really are lame who knows

[nCogNeato]

Let's get to this quick, shall we?

The target: Mellissa.
The attribute: "I like to hang out with my dogs" (speaking of her two pugs).

ME:

Greetings Melissa, how goes it?

When you say you like to chill with your dogs, do you mean canine dogs or dogs of the d-o-double-g variety? For I too have been known to chill with my doggs on many a splendid occasion, and I always am sure to pour a little out for my fallen comrades. Indeed, I have even spent more than my share of time hitting a lick on some bricks and then going ham on it.*

(See what I did there? Mixing in proper English with the urban slang? Genius.)

Ciao!

*P.S.: I have no idea precisely what it is that I just wrote. I can only hope that reading it was as uncomfortable for you as writing it was for me.

HER:

canine dogs (pugs).

ME:

Oh. Well... Alright then.

HER:

yea

ME:

I mean, I gave you an entire postscript. A postscript! All I get is three words, one of which is a parenthetical?

How about some applause for my generous wordsmithing? It deserves a polite golf clap, at the least.

HER:

*golf claps* that better?

ME:

Why yes, yes it is.

By the bye, pugs are pretty much universally acknowledged to be the lamest dogs ever. So there.

Awww, you're first lover's spat.

[nCogNeato]

I think you were on to something there since she responded with some sarcasm, or maybe not

I may have had her up until the point where I called her dogs stupid.

In all fairness, you called her dogs "lame" not "stupid" - there's a difference.   She shouldn't have been so butt-hurt over it....

#butthurt

[zerosum]

With 'Shakes in mind - [Bad Romance]