The Jokes Thread

[nCogNeato]

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

When If I was a girl, I would totally use those.  

[Handshakes]

A somewhat connected anecdote here, if not exactly a joke.

I once had a gal-friend who was not at all into music, so she wouldn't be likely to recognize lyrics if she saw them. Anywho, we used to chat a bunch online, AOL Instant Messenger style. Now, as all ladies love to do at some point or another, occassionally her conversations turned to really annoying and uncomfortible topics. You know those conversations, the ones that start with "I want to talk about US", and end with her nagging  and harping at you. Yeah, those.

After a time, whenever I sensed our conversations leading into those lines of topics I would start chatting in nothing but the lyrics to a random song. My favorites were Duran Duran songs.

"I've been meaning to talk to you about something..."
"What's up?"
"I want to talk about us."
...
"Dark in the city, night is a wire."
"Last week you said that you never saw yourself getting married. Why not?"
"Steam in the subway, earth is afire."
"What do you mean?"
"What does the subway have to do with marriage?"
"Woman you want me, give me a sign. And catch my breathing even closer behind."
"I don't..."
"In touch with the ground. I'm on the hunt, I'm after you."
"Does this mean you want me to listen more?"
"Smell like a sound. I'm lost in a crowd, and I'm hungry like the wolf."
"Is this some kind of code?"

[sambo]

LOL.

[Failed]

roffle

[nCogNeato]

lmfao Shakes.


I used to torment one of my old highschool girlfriends on IM with Clutch lyrics.  In hindsight, that may have contributed to our breakup.  

[Handshakes]

It is a wonder we are still single.

[dfusioness]

lol x

[nCogNeato]

It is a wonder we are still single.

We're a catch.

[sambo]

It is a wonder we are still single.

We're a catch.

Fixed.

[nCogNeato]

It is a wonder we are still single.

We're a catch.

Fixed.

Stop facebook stalking me and Shakes.   

[citatscEellE]

It is a wonder we are still single.

We're a catch.

Fixed.

Stop facebook stalking me and Shakes.   

roffle waffle..

[Windedprism]

Question is which is which?
I reckon its Neato with the thumbs up

[ASYLUM NINJA]

More importantly are they Siamese twins?

[Failed]

if they are, they're joined at the bum

[ASYLUM NINJA]

Like CatDog