The Jokes Thread

[Failed]

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

[nCogNeato]

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

lol

[DFUSIONITE]

I sent puns to 10 of my friends, hoping at least one would get a laugh, but unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

[nCogNeato]

There are only 10 types of people in the world:

Those who understand binary, and those who don't.




/old joke but still makes me laugh

[Kyuubi]

Iron Man is a superhero
Iron Woman is a command......

[nCogNeato]

Iron Man is a superhero
Iron Woman is a command......

lol

Since TJ isn't here at the moment, I'll be offended by that on her behalf.   

[Failed]

luckily men don't iron, are creased clothes in style ?!

[markav]

A chilean miner make love to his wife for the first time since his release'
"Can we switch the lights off?" he asks.
"Of course honey." she replies.
"Can I take you from behind?"
"Anything you want my brave boy."
"OK, can I call you Pedro?"

[ASYLUM NINJA]

A husband gets a new computer,
at the start up screen he is asked to enter a  new password
So he proceeds to type in MYPENIS
His onlooking wife falls around the floor laughing when
the computer states the password is not long enough.

[dfusioness]

three nuns are killed in a car crash, when they get to heaven, st peter says, in order to enter heaven you must each answer a question, so the first nun goes to st peter who asks, what was the name of the first woman, the nun replys-eve, so st peter lets her in, the second nun goes to st peter, who asks, where did adam and eve live, she replies-the garden of eden,st peter lets her in, the third nun, who's mother superior, goes to st peter, who says, being mother superior your question needs to be really hard, he asks her, when eve saw adam naked for the first time, what did she say, mother superior says, blimey, that is really hard, st peter says-yep your in !!!!

[dfusioness]

what do accountants doe when theyre constipated

work it out with a pencil

[nCogNeato]

what do accountants doe when theyre constipated

work it out with a pencil

uhhhhhhhh ewwwwwwwwwwwa grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[Jaynestown]

Excuse me!!!!

We don't use pencils anymore, and an excel spreadsheet just doesn't have the same affect!!! 

[dfusioness]

sorry, found it online, couldnt resist 

[knikki91]

Correct Grammar

Those of us who fall into the world of hi-tech should take note of the importance of correct grammar.

I have noticed that many who text messages & e-mail, have forgotten the "art" of capitalization.

Capitalization is the difference between "helping your Uncle Jack off a horse", and "helping your uncle jack off a horse".