The Gaming Lists Thread

[GamerMan316]

I've been known to post gaming related top 10's and things from gamesradar and other sites, I thought it would be easier to post them in the one place as opposed to creating new topics all the time, so post any good ones you find here.  

Here's the first

The Ten Most Outrageous Games Industry Quotes

Say what? Insightful comment and meaningful contributions from gaming's good and great. Yeah, right.

Given they spend most of their time stringing together zeros and ones, it's no surprise game developers don't make the best public speakers. So kick back and guffaw at ten of the rudest, weirdest, and most ridiculous quotes to come out of the videogame industry...

Tomonobu Itagaki
His response to: "Is it okay to sexualise a 17-year-old girl?"
"Why not? In Japan, that's okay. Maybe it's 20 in America. Remember though, I was 27 when I created Kasumi. I'm older now, but 17-year-old girls are still gorgeous." The hard-drinking, hard-gambling Itagaki on the differences between Japanese and US attitudes towards sex.

Ken Kutaragi
On the PS2, just prior to its launch, "You can communicate to a new cybercity. Did you see the movie The Matrix? Same interface. Same concept. From next year, you can jack into the Matrix!" No one seems entirely certain what the Father of PlayStation is up to at the moment. We can only assume that he's bouncing off the walls in Sony Headquarters' basement.

Harvey Smith (ex-Midway)
On BlackSite: Area 51: "This project was so f***ed up..." We certainly admire Harvey Smith's honesty, but to call your own game "f***ed up" just after it had been released is PR suicide. If all developers gave such frank critiques of their videogames, we would be out of a job! Unsurprisingly, Harvey Smith left Midway just a day later.

David Jaffe
On videogame website Joystiq.com: "F*** you, guys. Go f*** yourselves... I hope Kotaku f***ing puts your ass out of business, wannabe f***tards." God Of War creator Jaffe slammed website Joystiq for criticising his attempt at fixing Calling All Cars. We're definitely with Jaffe on this, but he really could've showed a little more restraint in his response.

Hideo Kojima
On weariness: "When a man is hit by friendly fire, his blood pressure lowers and his morale sinks. I have been hit by friendly fire in my heart. Sighs spill from my body instead of blood." Is Hideo Kojima just a massive emo kid? This cringeworthy quote suggests so. If you fancy vomiting, you can read more of his schoolboy poetry on old entries of his blog.

Vince Desi (Running With Scissors)
On racial stereotypes in Japan: "I've been to Japan –
lovely country; great fish and p*ssy." Whenever you interview Vince Desi, the creator of the Postal series, you know you're in for some entertaining responses. We assume he's referring to cats, of course.

Peter Moore
Describing what next-gen games would be like: "You'll reach a state where you achieve the perfect mind-body equilibrium as you forget your physical surroundings and become immersed in the game; this controller becomes an extension of your body, it becomes the gateway to the Zen of gaming." Yep, this quote is scary – so is the possibility he thought it'd come true.

Hiroshi Yamauchi (ex-head of Nintendo)
On RPGs: "People who play RPGs are depressed gamers who sit alone in dark rooms and play slow games." In case you didn't know, Hiroshi Yamauchi was the president of Nintendo from 1949 to 2002. He also proudly admits he has never played a videogame in his life. Someone should have told him that RPGs are the biggest selling genre in Japan.

David Reeves (ex-Sony Europe boss)
On European game delays: "We're a PAL market and we're going to do it in PAL and we are going to do localisation properly; you can wait for it and you can have it in good quality, you know you can get the stuff from Bittorrent if you want and download PSP games, it's up to you." Yep, that's the ex-president of SCEE condoning piracy! Shortly after saying this, Sony restricted interviews with Reeves.

Phil Harrison (ex-Head of Sony Worldwide Studios)
Criticising the Xbox 360's multiple SKUs: "Multiple hardware SKUs just confuse the audience. They don't know which one to buy... so I think we wouldn't take that strategy. We wouldn't create confusion." Last time we counted the PS3 had eight SKUs. Did ex-worldwide studios head Harrison know about this back in 2005? Probably not. Do people at Sony ever talk to one other?


Anyone know any other outrageous quotes?

[GamerMan316]

25 Ugliest Games Of This Generation

[GamerMan316]

Top 5 great games with bad graphics

In honour of all the stick Twisted Metal's visuals have been getting after the game's first PS3 reveal, here's a rundown of the best PlayStation games to have fallen out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. Just to be clear, games that do simplistic graphical styles, but do them well (e.g. 2D Street Fighter titles) haven't been included. These are all games that could and should have looked better, even at the time of their release...

5.
Silent Hill
PlayStation (1998)
Oh dear God, someone put a bag over its head. Silent Hill is the greyest, dullest, gloomiest looking game ever made, but it gets away with it all by making it look deliberate. It's not terrible draw distance, it's fog. It's not pop-up, it's a cross-dimensional split. It's not fuzzy textures and a low polygon count, it's distorted reality. So ugly, it's scary.



4.
Grand Theft Auto
PlayStation (1997)
Look at the state of that! No one minded so much about the 2D graphics and top-down view, but why did it have to be so horribly pixelated? Why is the camera so jerky when it zooms in and out? It's bizarre to think that this technically inept mess came from the same studio that has since brought us four 3D GTA games that have stretched the boundaries of what's possible on their respective hardware. But it was still fun, and still established a brand that was to become one of the most successful and influential in all gaming history.



3.
Twisted Metal: World Tour (a.k.a. Twisted Metal 2)
PlayStation (1997)
This was the first game I ever got for my PlayStation, and I remember when I first started playing it, my housemate sqeezed himself behind the TV and started fiddling with various cables, convinced it was supposed to look better. I kept telling him it was an ugly game until he finally accepted – but he still couldn't bring himself to look at it. I didn't care, Twisted Metal: World Tour still stands as one of the most fun games I've ever played – like it was so ugly it was grateful I would play it, so it put in extra effort.



2.
Disgaea: Hour Of Darkness
PlayStation 2 (2004)
Turn-based strategy games aren't known for their graphics but even by these low standards, Disgaea is a right munter. You can't even argue that it doesn't matter. Being the incredibly complicated game it is, it's important to be able to see what's going on, and the screen can become a confusing jumble of fuzzy pixels and jagged, flashing squares at time. It's still utterly, utterly brilliant though, of course.



1.
Bishi Bashi Special
PlayStation (2000)
It's the best party game of all time, but is also unbelievably minging to look at. Most of the animations have, like, three frames and the way digitised graphics are used in some of the mini-games makes Pit Fighter look good. Honestly, if you'd bought this for your brand new Mega Drive (Genesis) a decade earlier, you'd have been thinking, "I thought it could do better than this..." But you wouldn't care once you invited some mates around for a few rounds of Uncle Launcher and Perm Mania and realised you were having more fun than you ever thought possible.

[GamerMan316]

Top 5 bad games with great graphics

From the same people as the above post.

5.
Killer7
PlayStation 2 (2005)
Damn sexy to look at and deeply atmospheric in places, Killer7 was unfortunately also really tiresome and frustrating to play. It's the sort of game some gamers will tell you they like because it's obscure and cool looking but don't, whatever you do, actually bother playing it.



4.
Afro Samurai
PlayStation 3 (2009)
Aesthetically extremely loyal to its source material, Afro Samurai certainly did enough to appeal to fans of the ultra-cool anime swordsman. But people who actually like games found it to be very shallow and extremely frustrating in places. Nice dynamic slicing though.



3.
Def Jam: Icon
PlayStation 3 (2007)
All the lavish audio-visual splendour you'd expect from a high-profile EA release could not compensate for combat mechanics so poor they make your average thumb war look deep, complex and skill-based. Shame, as the previous Def Jam games were ace.



2.
Mirror's Edge
PlayStation 3 (2008)
It might have been a bit white for some tastes, but Mirror's Edge could certainly be breathtaking to look at. It could also be so, so, so frustrating to play. Sure, there were good bits, but they were always over so fast, while the infuriating bits seemed to go on forever.



1.
Assassin's Creed
PlayStation 3 (2007)
Now look, PLAY said it all along – once you get past Assassin's Creed's fantastic visuals and super-slick animation, there's barely any game there at all, never mind a good one. We'd hope that now Assassin's Creed II has been and gone and shown the world what the first game should have been like that perhaps more folk might agree than did at the time. Assassin's Creed was pants.

[GamerMan316]

History's Top 10 E3 Screwups

[nCogNeato]

History's Top 10 E3 Screwups

I laughed pretty damn hard at a couple of those.



... well BAM!!!

[GamerMan316]

20 Heroes who deserve better games

[DFUSIONITE]

20 Heroes who deserve better games

great read that.

[GamerMan316]

NowGamer's Ten Worst Console Games This Generation.

10. Two Worlds (X360, PC)

When we consider all the great fantasy RPGs out there, it's a wonder that some developers decide to turn their hand to the genre without any prior experience. Reality Pump's Two Worlds may have drawn comparisons to Oblivion, but to even mention both games in the same sentence, like we just did, is to grossly underestimate the massive gulf between a brilliant, polished, epic game and one that appears to have been cobbled together in a couple of weeks. Terrible dialogue, dull combat, ridiculous levelling up and incredibly bad visuals are the least of the games worries. How, or why Two Worlds 2 is in the works is beyond us.

9. Escape From Bug Island (Wii)

On paper, this Wii launch title from Japanese developer Spike should have been a fun giant-bug infested survival horror; a cartoony take on Resident Evil for a pre-teen audience. However, Escape From Bug Island combines such atrocious design decisions, gameplay and controls that we'll applaud anybody that admits to playing it for more than a couple of hours. Bosses are a joke, puzzles embarrassingly repetitive and the decision to revert from normal third-person controls to a perspective-disregarding-Resi-style scheme - in certain situations - is just utter nonsense. No matter which way you slice it Bug Island is less appealing than visiting the dentist - for open-heart surgery.

8. Spider-Man 3 (PS3, Xbox 360)

Even Activision has admitted that they've never really done anything good with the Spider-man license and here's why: a drab, last-generation approach to the game world, combat, story and graphics hangs heavily over the proceedings, with that now long-forgotten problem in 3D games - a camera with a mind of its own - also rearing its ugly head. In fact the game may as well have appeared on the PS2/Xbox for all the use it's making of the power of current hardware. Criminally, Treyarch also managed to make web-slinging around New York infinitely less exciting than previous Spidey outings. It all amounts to an experience we can only describe as dangerously poor.
review

7. Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard (PS3, Xbox 360)

There's nothing worse than someone who thinks they're hilarious, but is, in actual fact, about as funny as a brain tumour. The same could be said of videogames, and quite simply, Eat Lead falls into this category. Parodying videogame genres must have sounded like a brilliant idea in whatever meeting the game was greenlit, but the execution is sloppy, dull and distinctly unfunny. To make matters worse, the game appears to make self-referential jokes about its own shoddiness, making those that bought it feel very foolish indeed.

6. Far Cry Vengeance (Wii)

Okay, so a Far Cry game on the Wii was never about to match an experience that originated on the PC, from the powerhouse programmers over at Crytek. But that's not the problem with Far Cry Vengeance. No, the problem is that Ubisoft hasn't even seen fit to finish the game before releasing it – sub, sub par graphics, seriously sh*t AI, and controls that are as inaccurate as the game is fun to play. Which is not very, if you hadn't figured it out. Don't blame the hardware – Modern Warfare was successfully crammed onto the format – so it must just be a terrible, terrible game in its own right.

5. Vampire Rain (Xbox 360, PS3)

A horror game that includes stealth-action elements, Vampire Rain is actually nothing more than an utter horror-show, providing little in the way of thrills and even less spills. Had Artoon's game turned up for the consoles even two generations prior we would still bury its memory deep, deep down like some sort of traumatic childhood memory. But the fact that it was actually designed with current technology in mind requires us to ridicule it mercilessly. Everything is so derivative that Vampire Rain actually does itself a disservice – you'll find it more entertaining remembering where you've seen it all before, than actually playing the game.

4. Too Human (Xbox 360)

There are worse games this generation than Too Human. But none of them were hyped to the point of exhaustion during a ten-year development cycle; Too Human was, and in that time skipped two console generations after originally being planned for the original PlayStation, then for the Nintendo Gamecube. It's the Xbox 360 that eventually drew the short straw though, and by the time the game actually appeared it was, inevitably, already out of date. The basic gameplay quickly turns into a yawn-inducing hack'n'slash slog, with an unfathomably shallow plot to boot. Without doubt this gen's Daikatana.

3. Way of the Samurai 3 (PS3, Xbox 360)

No amount of cultural differences can explain some of the bizarre choices made by Japanese developer UFO in the third Way of the Samurai game. Firstly it expects players to play the game many times over; even when it's so bad that playing it once is enough to induce hatred in all but the most forgiving gamers. Awful visuals, some of the worst combat seen in the last few years and a strange cause-and-effect narrative which works in no way whatsoever, do little to save what should have been a passable feudal romp.

2. Destroy All Humans: Path of the Furon (PS3, Xbox 360)

Another game that looks like it was made to launch alongside the PS2, Path of the Furon is a vegas-set sandbox style-action game, featuring the series' usual cast of malevolent extra-terrestrials. If that sounds bad, that's because it is. Add into the mix a ridiculously long tutorial, inexplicable buginess and offensively bland gameplay, all wrapped in a layer of something we'd call 'an overwhelming sense of doom' rather than what publisher THQ would loosely term 'humour', and you've got a horrible, nay, tortuous experience.

1. Rogue Warrior (Xbox 360, PS3)

What has Rogue Warrior got that makes it the worst game of this generation so far? Well, let's look at what it hasn't got; acceptable gameplay, graphics and story are just the beginning. What should be a plus point – the protagonist's voiceover by noneother than Mickey Rourke – is just another laughable aspect of one of the laziest shooters we've ever come across. If all that wasn't bad enough the game was released as a full-price title, despite weighing in at just three hours of playtime. The final nail in the coffin are the end credits in which Rourke's phoned-in lines are edited to form the most ghastly rap ever committed to audio. You won't get that far of course, (if you ever go near the game we'll never speak to you again) but rest assured, much like the game, it's indefensibly poor. The whole thing actually contains over 20 F-bombs - check out the second verse below,

F***in' commies keep gettin' in my way
Well, surprise motherf***ers
Happy f***in' birthday
That's right
Nighty night, you sweet piece of sh*t
Enjoy the ride, c***sucker
Have a nice trip
Boom time, baby
Treak or treat
Looks like a party, come on
I got places to go and people to meet
Assholes are everywhere
F***ers 'round the forest
High ho, high ho, this f***er's gonna blow

[Astrex]

I just played Rogue Warrior and Mickey Rourkes rap at the end is awesome!

[nCogNeato]

I just played Rogue Warrior and Mickey Rourkes rap at the end is awesome!

[Astrex]

That's pretty funny init! 

[DFUSIONITE]

I just played Rogue Warrior and Mickey Rourkes rap at the end is awesome!

Next time me and my wife are going to make love i am gonna put this music on while we do. 

[GamerMan316]

The Ten Most Broken Games of the Last Decade

[Astrex]

I just played Rogue Warrior and Mickey Rourkes rap at the end is awesome!

Next time me and my wife are going to make love i am gonna put this music on while we do. 

And prey you don't go soft